Showing posts from April, 2008

The top 10 alternate Bear Kilts slogans

I came up with the Bear Kilts slogan 'Go Bear!' months after naming the company after the cave art logo. I laughed when I thought of it.
Some of the following brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Most of them were just written for this blog entry.
Some of them have been tee shirts. Others will be.

Here are the top 10 alternate Bear Kilts slogans.

10 - Go Nuts!
9 - We aim to pleats!
8 - I'm cooler than you!
7 - Can you feel it?
6 - Swinging into action!
5 - They're blue from the cold!
4 - Because the wind doesn't complain when it blows!
3 - Guaranteed: no shrinkage
2 - Easy access!

And the number one alternate Bear Kilts slogan:
1 - Because guys are sluts, too!

Pleats yourself

Kilts Night. March 2008
I'm there with all the regulars and some Poker friends from Facebook. We're all into our cups nearing midnight and I'm talking to a non-kilted Turkish friend (FB Poker) and his wife and friends, when I notice a draught and feel my pleats fall back down to my legs.
I look behind me and everyone is looking occupied, either talking or listening to someone else.
I go with the model thin beauty who seems to be watching me peripherally and point at her. I know she was that thin because her jeans were skin tight. (This will come into play later.)
"It was you," I said.
She smiled and said, "I couldn't help myself!"
I grinned and went back to my conversation.
She must have lifted my kilt 7 or 8 times, flirtingly, when I wasn't looking. Always the pleats in the back and always a smile.
Then, later in the evening, or morning by now, I saw the person I was talking to look over my shoulder. I waited for his eyes to drop a little lower, knowin…

A Forest Memory

I wrote a poem.
I started to write what it felt like to wear a kilt, then the words laid themselves down and became something more, probably something better than I had planned.
Writing is like that for me. I try to stay out of the way and let my fingers do the work.
I like this poem. I think I captured part of the feeling of naturalness, of the free feeling of wearing a kilt. But it's not exactly what I started out to write.
I think I'll continue with kilt poetry and see what happens.

A Forest Memory
In the filtered green light of the deep forest,
my steps guided by game trails,
caressing leaves as I stroll alone,
I am encompassed in the fullness of life.
It moves over me, through me,
my head swims hazily with it,
and I revel giddy in the misty joy,
holding it loosely with open arms,
for it will pass into memory,
as pain can be remembered,
but not felt anew.
Terry Varga
April 23rd, 2008

Human Nature and Kilts

We, as humans, have a natural need to discover the new, to propogate at an insane rate, create tools that are ever more complex, and to communicate our artistic ideas to as many people as possible. We are curious and we have an insatiable need to explore new places.
All of those attributes combined will eventually take us to other worlds. Humans are the natural explorers of planet Earth.
We live in an incredible time in human history!
New metals are being made. Titanium hammers are found in carpenter's tool belts.
Sports drinks are designed to replenish lost nutrients and keep athletes playing longer.
Pills are made to prevent sexual dysfunction. (The term 'hard to swallow' takes on a whole new meaning!)
New martial arts are still being invented. Aikido was possibly the greatest invention of the 20th century.
New fabrics are being woven. Goretex is breathable and waterproof for rain gear. (Imagine! It keeps water out but lets air through!)
Socks stay up without garters. (Elastic! …

What kind of guy wears a kilt?

Why do we write? Why do we draw, paint, and sculpt? Why do we do art? For the same 2 reasons we drink.
To get laid.
To communicate.
Alcohol is a vocal laxative. We can say things we dare not say when sober.
Art is as powerful as sex. We can say anything to our art and through art, we speak to everyone.
Thinking on it, those reasons are pretty much why we do anything, including wearing kilts.
How we dress is part of how we face the world. Similarily, we tell the world a lot about us with the clothes we wear. We can dress in hoodies and pants around our knees, jeans and a cowboy hat, or a three piece suit from Saville Row. Each will tell you about the man behind the clothes.
What does a kilt say about the man who wears it?
Is there anything aside from the points we always hear about, like confidence, alpha male, etc?
I have found that in many cases, men who wear kilts are creative. They have careers or hobbies that involve some form of art.
They are also intelligent, for the most part. They reali…

My Ass

Lately, when I feel like going to the grocery store, or 711, or just out for a walk, I'll likely wear a pair of hiking boots with grey, wool work socks, or runners with low cut socks. Comfort and function are my goals for everyday wear.
But not yesterday.
Yesterday it snowed 2 inches in an hour. Big, white flakes the size of silver dollars. Random, bastard winds gusting all over the place. This is when I decide I want to cook some burgers and it's time to go get groceries.
I put on my 'Loud' Macleod, heavy wool kilt, my Aran sweater, and a rain jacket. I wore hiking boots for traction, (falling on your ass in snow whilst kilted is more awake than I like to be!) and high wool kilt socks.
Half way there and I realise it was snowing on my ass. I don't mean that as slang; the wind was lifting my pleats and it was snowing on my ass! I've worn a kilt long enough to be ambivalent about randomly flashing in the wind. (Besides, in this weather, there wasn't a whole lot …

Old Meat

In other words, a few day's worth of beefing.
(Thought I was going a whole different route, didn't you?)

It seems some people think I should have defended 'men's rights' and mentioned that if the genders were reversed in yesterday's blog, the young 'boys' would have been dealt with severely.
Men and boys have been saying things like that as long as women and girls have been saying things like that, and that's been for as long as there have been people on this planet. The only controversial thing about these comments is the puritanical nature of North American culture.
Men are men and women are women. I'm happy with this arrangement.
Let's move on.

I've been told that while wearing a kilt, I am representing all kilt wearers and should act like a gentleman at all times.
First, I try not to 'act' like anything but the person I am. I have my own personal honour and values.
Second, I don't represent pantsies when wearing pants; wh…

20/20 Kiltsight

I wear reading glasses. 1.00x for reading or computer work and 2.75x for kilt work. My eyes were always 20/20 until I noticed my self holding a book at arm's length when I was in my early forties. I've worn reading glasses longer than I've worn kilts!
There are a lot of guys discovering kilts at my age or older and I've wondered if kilt wearing is an age related decision.
Many of us older guys start with casual kilts of one kind or another and move into traditional kilts. Is this because we have a greater sense of approaching death and are trying to make sense of life by reaching into our heritage? Or does it have to do more with losing a sense of rebellion and trying to fit into society without giving up kilts?
I have a traditional, military box pleated, wool MacDonald kilt that I've worn once on a 20 minute walk to the grocery store. It isn't uncomfortable but it isn't as comfortable as my MacBitseach classic cut wool kilt. And poly viscose is more comfortab…
I was playing a bit of Facebook poker earlier and an odd thing happened.
A quite pleasant woman seated at the table, (Katherine), told me, I'm taking a trip to your homeland, Scotland."
Her pic was a statue with a bird sitting on the head. For some reason the pic was horizontal.
"I'm not Scottish," I replied. (Online chatting seems to be an exercise in brevity.)
"So, you're a poser!"
I didn't know where to begin to briefly explain that I wasn't a poser, just because I wear a kilt. Frankly, I didn't want to take the time to explain how kilts were evolving from a strictly Scottish garment. How wearing a kilt as a non-Scot didn't make me someone who was pretending to be Scottish, or someone who wanted to be Scottish.
So I simply said, "No. I'm a kiltmaker," which is an easy out for me but what would I have said if I wasn't a kiltmaker?
As she busted out from the table I asked her to add me as a Facebook friend because I want…

I'm back

It's been a long 2.5 years. My life in that time has been a fight to keep what I hold dear. I barely managed to keep Bear Kilts from going bankrupt after my divorce, but I did. My son lives with me. And I have good friends that care about me.
You'd think what I've been through would make me cautious, less willing to take risks and to grab a 9-5 job and hold on to it for dear life.
People have been telling me to grow up all my life. I always have the same reply.
I try to think the way I did when I was a boy; fascinated by everything because everything was new to my young eyes.
Some of my favourite things are still prisms and magnets. Intellectually, I understand how they work but holding a prism and actually watching light break ... yes, watching light split into the visible parts that together are invisible ... amazing!
Or pushing two magnets together with opposite polarities, felling them repel like some kind of invisible force field ... what a wonder! Invis…


Bob Dylan had it right. The times, they are a changin'!
I'll be fifty this November. I haven't lived what anyone would call a sheltered life. I mean, I've been around the block, over it, under it, and climbed all the trees. But now and then something shocks me. Not that I swooned, or blushed, or even let on that I was shocked, but I let out a good laugh when I was out of earshot!
I'm on my way back from the grocery store, carrying three plastic shopping bags, wearing a wool kilt, hiking boots, socks pushed down, Aran sweater, and the usual accessories. I'm not dressed up, but I'm looking all right for a guy my age with a week's worth of grey beard.
I passed two cute young girls, maybe thirteen or fourteen. Not just too young for me but too young for anyone.
As they pass me, one of them says, "Nice kilt!"
"Thanks," I said over my shoulder, and kept walking. That happens a lot in Vancouver and it doesn't even slow me down anymore.
Then o…

Did you miss me?

What do you mean, "was I gone?"
I have spent the last 2.5 years picking up the pieces of my life and sticking them back together with spit and elbow grease.
Anyway, I'm back and full of piss and vinegar, with big plans, (New kilt design coming out), and some help, which I'll tell you about later.
First, Bear Kilts is starting a Referral Incentive program. Send me a kilt sale and earn credits towards your next kilt. See details here:

A guy walks up to an anteater and says, "Hey buddy. Why the long face?"
That's a favourite joke of mine. It's short, easy to remember after a few Bushmills, and usually gets a small laugh. I get a little bit humourous when I drink and I'm usually in a good mood, so this surprised me:

A guy walks up to me last Kilts Night, (he had to make his way through at least half a dozen kilted guys), puffs up to his full height, and asks rudely, "Are you trying to mock Scotland?"
I was talkin…