I'm back

It's been a long 2.5 years. My life in that time has been a fight to keep what I hold dear. I barely managed to keep Bear Kilts from going bankrupt after my divorce, but I did. My son lives with me. And I have good friends that care about me.
You'd think what I've been through would make me cautious, less willing to take risks and to grab a 9-5 job and hold on to it for dear life.
No.
People have been telling me to grow up all my life. I always have the same reply.
"No."
I try to think the way I did when I was a boy; fascinated by everything because everything was new to my young eyes.
Some of my favourite things are still prisms and magnets. Intellectually, I understand how they work but holding a prism and actually watching light break ... yes, watching light split into the visible parts that together are invisible ... amazing!
Or pushing two magnets together with opposite polarities, felling them repel like some kind of invisible force field ... what a wonder! Invisible force!

When someone tells me to grow up. what they're really telling me to do is fit in, to be like everyone else, to be inconspicuous.
They're telling me that they can't (don't) do what they would prefer to do, so why should I have that right?
They're quoting the Japanese saying that goes, "The nail that sticks up gets hammered down."

I am creative and fascinated by how things work. To deny that very large part of who I am, just to fit in ... well I honestly think it would kill me. I'm just not capable of being a drone in the hive. The last time I tried I ended up in the hospital for a weekend, bleeding inside. The stress of trying to fit in almost killed me. My joy was gone and that is death for me.

So I'm back to kiltmaking full time and learning to love life again. I'm fascinated again, by everything from the communication we call the English language, to the curves and lines of women's bodies.
I did an oil painting the other day and am planning more. I'm designing a new kilt. I'm home schooling my son and teaching him the most important lesson; how to learn.

Am I odd?
Yes.
Do I regret it?
Never.
Am I happy?
Not yet, but I'm happier than I've been for a lot of years.
Thank you to those who helped me through dark times.
Thank you to my long suffering customers still waiting for kilts. They are being made again.
I'm back.

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